Designer wants a wife

DESIGNER.

NEEDS.

A.

WIFE.

Forget Farmer wants a wife, and the German spin off Baker wants a wife, I think we should create a television series entitled Designer needs a wife. What do you think? Wouldn’t it be a hit? Not only would it be more gender friendly and express the closing gap of sexes (Thank Goodness that this day has finally come), but also tap into the more alternative market.

Plus, there is an obvious yearning. I have talked to a large number of my designer girlfriends, and they all agree that there is a need… but perhaps I am talking to the wrong crowd here, those that are already converted, or perhaps I am talking to an audience of Headstrong feminists who are seething under their breath right now, thinking “we ain’t needing no men, na-ah!” In that case, I am truly sorry, but honestly! We need more alternatives to be watching television. Right now no one I know watches the TV, and that’s mostly because it is filled with tacky reality TV; Jersey Shore and Eurovision. I mean Jersey shore is OK for five minutes, and Eurovision is great for an evening, but we need more content! Can I get an Amen from the audience? Give the people what they want. I assume all of the TV stations have done their homework, and that the know what the people want. Apparently it is reality TV. Anyway, that is my thought of the hour…

Can you imagine what the show would be like? It would be amazing, not only would the content not need to be scripted, but they would have intelligent girls, which is what reality TV needs more of. Designers are great; they are radical, quick witted, and are great entertainment. Plus, we dress well too, which is a bonus. The contestants could create the videos themselves, and friends could add in illustrator and photoshop backgrounds, it would be trippy, and an educational experience for all.

I mean, I have seen a few eps. of Farmer wants a wife, and from what I understand a school mate even got married to a farmer from the show back in Sydney, but there is only so many scenes of milking cows and awkward conversations I can withhold. In the dutch version, I remember the ladies had to make a gift for the other contestants, they were hand made clay and photo montages of the contestant and the farmer... but can you imagine Designer needs a husband? Man, the hand made presents would be cool to the extreme, not to mention adding in a time limitation "Who can create a gift in 15 minutes". You'd come up with some pretty whacky ideas, but I am getting carried away with myself.

Perhaps I am being too traditional – you’re probably thinking ‘Girl, you don’t need no man’, I mean which working woman really needs a man these days anyway. Well I’m not sure if I speak only for myself or whether I am going through a quarter life crisis, but I am going to put it out there and say that it is pretty natural to assume that you will end up with a dashingly intelligent man. Many of us are so extreme that we need someone to bring us back down to earth... But with all of us women trying to pursue a career, part of me just thinks – I am just so happy where I am, there really is no need for a man. Hanging out with a bunch of single designer girls doesn’t help either… but when you go back home and all of your friends are getting married, it hits you. A friend said it was the symptoms of a wedding, perhaps he is right, but when I walked into the pet store yesterday, I was struck by the number of couples that were around. Anyway, I have heard that I am quite the matchmaker. Two friends of mine that I set up 7 years ago just got married, so I think I have a knack for it. That’s it! I am going to put a call out tonight for single males and females tonight, network them, and the film it. Perhaps I will make a start up from it! An App maybe? The possibilities are endless!

For all of those lovely ladies out there, the Laundromat is definitely a great place to start conversations. I had never been in one before, and stumbled into one last night on my way home from dinner as I thought it would be interesting to research what really goes on in there, and all that was sitting there were about 15 young males.

In any case, even if the TV networks don’t hit me up after writing this blog post, I am going to set up a camera at my local Laundromat. I promise you, that is where all the action is.

image originally found here

An observation of the Dutch in Delft.

A compilation of observations that I have acquired in the past 2 years with my time alongside my dutch friends, most things are dutch friendly, but a few are city specific.

1. The dutch are a tall society, there’s no denying that. It’s said that those from Groningen are the world’s giants. There! I said it.
2. There is a very strong student society & fraternity culture
3. Typical frat hair is longer on the sides, slicked through with gel and topped off with a backward cap.
4. Christmas dinners or Kerstdiners happen in February, April, or even July… not december
5. Sinterklaas presents are the most important of the year, and from an outsiders perspective seem to be more heavily thought out and detailed, more so than anything that could be bought for a beloved
6. Bikes are ridden everywhere, no joke
7. The dutch are always weather ready
8. If there’s cheese at the table and someone will pulls out what looks like a tiny cake cutter, don’t be alarmed, it’s a cheese slicer, or kaas schaaf
9. A student house can have anywhere between 3 and (at extremes) 21 people
10. They just love to dress up on special occasions (see point 4)
11. ‘Going Dutch’ I’ve never seen a society so engaged in splitting costs, see Wiebetaalwat.nl & eetlijst.com if you don’t believe me.
12. Sinter Klaas, who although sounds like santa claus, isnt, comes once per year and gives presents to kids. I mean, you’ve fooled me, I really did think he was Santa Claus.
13. TH of D? Ask a Dutchman to say “ Three thin thieves thought a thousand thoughts. Now if three thin thieves thought a thousand thoughts how many thoughts did each thief think?” and guaranteed they will pronounce the vast majority of “th” ‘s  as a “d”
14. There is a strange man called black pete or zwaart piet who is Sinta Klaus’ companion (see point 12), and helps transport bad children to Spain. I’m not sure why such a rainy country sees this as a bad thing. Perhaps kids think they will get fat from too much tapas, beats me.
15. Crème trousers are a thing, ain’t no one gonna tell me different. This will often be seen sported with a brown leather belt.
16. Bright pants are a thing (maroon seems to be quite in this year, 2013-2014)
17. The amazing christmas treats, Papernoten are available from August
18. Sandwiches.
19. Dutchmen love to party!!! By partying, I mean fist pumping in the air
20. The national delicacies include speculaas, Applestroop, stroopwaffels, poffertjes, filet americain and schuddebuikjes, all of which I approve of.
21. Hagelslag. It’s like 100s and 1000s for 20+ year olds, the fancy version.
22. Dutch have a close relationship with their families
23. Everyone drinks coffee, 4 times a day, 8 days a week.
24. I just need to emphasise, sandwiches are a dutchman’s best friend
25. Leo’s is the place to be on a week day during lunch (see point 25)
26. ‘It’s fine, honestly! …as long as it doesn’t effect me’
27. Men don’t dance in clubs. Punt (exception of point 19)
28. I have never seen so many want-to-be DJs
29. Duchmans love their gel
30. Dutchmen have intense umbrella ready for the rain
31. The rainpants, oh the rainpants
32. The more serious a business meeting, the more gel (see point 30)
33. Ingetogen they can be very restrained in their emotions ingetogen
34. 5 minutes too late deserves an SMS asking where you are (I must admit, I have come a long way in my organisational skills thanks to this)
35. Efficiency is the key
36. Do you have a planning for this? Every project seems to have to have a drawn out planning, this is very different from Australian tertiary education where we just bumble along with assignments
37. It is amazing what you see on the back of bikes. Can you ride no hands? Can you also be holding another bike? Can you also be carrying a couch on the back of your bike? You must be dutch
38. Dutch are pained by the way international students ride on the bike paths
39. Rowing & Hockey are the national sports
40. Koningsdag, or kings day is a national holiday where everyone dresses in orange, finds a boat and sails down the canals.
41. I’ve never seen so much orange in my life (see point 42)
42. Can I have mayonaise with that?
43. Hot chips are served in something that suggests to me that it should have ice cream in it judging by its shape, however I must admit, the cone sure is handy.
44. The meats department at the supermarket sports a whole lot of blended sausage liver meats, perfect for a dutchmen’s favourite meal (see point 18).
45. Kokos brood, an amazing coconut cheese delight that only the dutch could have thought of
46. It will take time, but once a dutchie (I have effectionately decided to call them this) lets you into their home, you’re good friends “friends fo life yo”
47.  
48.  
49. It takes time, but at some point you will realise how much you will miss this country.

I am leaving the last two blank. Perhaps there are things that I am still to learn.

Black is the new black.

On the way to work with my two colleagues, this seems to be pure evidence that designers sport black.